The girl at TJ Maxx saved my day....

So, out of the most unexpected places, I found myself stumped in a good way today. The day started out awful, I won't go into detail but just drama and that was all before church.  Church was, as usual, just a time where I say "Shhhh" and "No" and "Stop" over and over and over again to the kids along with running after Allie who I swear is faster than a fox.  Came home and after resting, sort of, made my way to the grocery store...something I detest and as a mom I find myself grumpily going there more than I ever want to.  So, I decided to stop at TJ Maxx to look for a new purse...you know, since what I've been using (my free Similac formula purse from getting 3D pictures of Allie) was ripping apart at the seams, yes, I'm sooo trendy, NOT.  Anyway, no luck on the purse but did find some other things and as I approached the cashier she said the familiar "Oh! When are you due?"  May I said... "Oh great....boy or girl?" Girl I said and then she asked if this would be my first to which I said this sounding like an idiot..."well this will be my third....well, really this will be my fourth." and knowing I sounded crazy since I had no idea how many kids I had, I started to explain expecting the all to common look of horror that washes over strangers faces as I tell them the truth about Jacob and that he died at birth.  To my GREAT surprise as I told her and explained, "Well, this will be our fourth. Our third died at birth about a year ago and so...." The fabulous TJ Maxx stranger cashier didn't skip a beat in telling me "Oh I know all about that.  My aunt lost a baby at birth.  Only got to hold him for 20  minutes but she did hear him take his last breath." I was so shocked that I was having a NORMAL conversation about babies dying with a complete stranger and we continued talking as she scanned my items.  "Oh and my sister lost her son and now she's pregnant again....etc." And on she went about all the babies she knew that has passed away and then said how much she was looking forward to her next neices' arrival later this year, as if we were talking about normal things.  Sometimes these strangers really catch you off guard and when someone allows you to feel normal and okay to share your loss and shares their own experience it breaks all the anxiety I carry around with me all the time still when I'm out and about.  I could not articulate it to her as I was in so much shock because this type of conversation so rarely occurs for me, but she managed to make what has been a very emotional week end on the best of notes.  I felt normal and part of a world where it's okay to talk about Jacob and not feel like I've just terrified another person by bringing up my "dead baby".  What a gift she gave me in the most unlikely of places.  People, good people, do exist and I am ever so grateful that God placed me at register #1 with a lovely honest cashier!  

Now if anyone knows where I can get a purse that the kids can spill milk on that is not over $50 let me know! I'm not spending $149 on a purse that will be inevitably stepped on, spit up on or cut with craft scissors.  Have a great week everyone:)