Having sent from on high, O King of all, and taken the blessed infant, like a pure bird unto the heavenly nest, O Master, Thou has saved this soul from snares of many forms, and has united it with the souls of the Righteous who are enjoying the delights of Thy Kingdom. ~ From Jacob's memorial service

Purpose of my blog...

And so here I am...10 months post my son Jacob's unexpected death and writing a blog. I am not sure what I think about this but I do know that as everyone lovingly, yet haphazardly, always asks how I am doing this is the only way to sincerely and honestly let everyone know without spewing it all out each time. In person, I usually say the standard and most comfortable for others "I'm fine...how are you?" but here I can truly be honest. This is all very personal but I have found that an event such as the death of a child is still such a taboo in this society that people have lieterally no idea what this experience is like or how to react, help, or handle it when it happens to a freind, loved one, or even themselves. Selfishly, this blog is also a way for me to find my way through the fog of this year and try to figure out where I am. I have hesitated writing this as I don't want to be thought of as self-indulgent or a total bitter woman but I pray that in sharing, for someone, it will make it easier to understand how this experience has affected and continues to affect me and our family and maybe help someone out there to be a little more compassionate and kind to someone that they know that finds themself going through the same thing. So, for those of you that are still reading to this point and really want to know...well, here it all is...

Saturday, February 9, 2013

more complete...finally! Chapter 7 is up

To those of you that have been following, it's taken a lot longer to get these next few chapters completed.  All of them are in regards to the services that we had for Jacob.  For those of you that do not know about Orthodox Christianity, much of our services are sung.  Below I have posted a link to some of the music that was sung at Jacob's service.  This is not Jacob's service but one for one of the beloved Archbishops of our church that passed away in 2011, Archbishop Dmitri.  There are many clergy at this service, hence all the vestments you will see.  The song they sing is Memory Eternal, the one I talk about in Chapter 7.  They sing it in English first then Slavonic, Spanish then Greek.  It really is beautiful and powerful.  This particular church is in Dallas, TX.
 
 
 
I really wanted to find the music to "The Last Kiss" which was sung at the end of Jacob's service but I can not find it anywhere.  The words alone are beautiful and if anyone reading this does know if there is a choir on YouTube or something that has this melody please let me know.  Until Jacob died I have never heard it in reference to a baby so the words were even more meaningful to me. 
 
The last kiss is not just a song but an old tradition that the Orthodox Church has held onto over the years.  Having lost Jacob and being probably the most distraught person at his services it has a new meaning to me.  The last kiss was/is traditionaly done at the end of the funeral service.  Obviously, in order to do this the coffin is open which is something that seems more and more rare in modern day funerals.  Family, friends, and mourners are invited to come forward to give a last "kiss of peace" to the departed.  Generally you kiss their forehead and the cross or icon that they are holding in their hand as well.  The hymns that the choir sings as the mourners say goodbye are meant to be solemn, moving and assist in the grieving process.  I am grateful to say that I would not have changed one thing about any of Jacob's services.  The choir was amazing, the people were supportive and if it had to happen, I was so grateful for all the people that brought this service together so quickly for us.  May God bless you for your time, energy and love for us and especially for our sweet Jacob. 
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